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Category: Mind Matters

  1. Are YOU Stuck in the Past

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    It's coming up to a year now since the Covid19 was first around for us. Since then we've had a few ~temporary~ adjustments to make.
     
    For some people on the front line it was a horror story.
    For others it was a bit of a novelty and inconvenience.
     
    boredom
     
    The novelty seems to be wearing a bit thin and there is anxiety to get back to how it used to be
    Many people are in limbo waiting to see what is going to happen as we move through the process of recovery (hopefully)
    Some people choose to be angry and try to find someone to blame. 
    Some choose to pretend that nothing is happening and it's all an exageration  Some know it's not!
    Some are waiting for a vacine.
     
    People are all different and have different triggers, emotional needs, values etc.
     
    One thing I think that most people can agree on is that we are not, ever, going to be back where we were before this pandemic.
     
    Some people are taking life as it comes and are finding peace in the newfound freedom to re-evaluate their lives.
    I see people getting busy with lots of new experiences,more relaxation,  more outdoor activities and appreciation of nature.  Valuing some of the fundamental things in life rather than the  more hedonistic  lifestyle they used to live.
     
    For sure the people who are 'making the most' of things as they are, will certainly be changing their future and looking at priorities differently.  Once things settle  down these will be the successful people in the new order.  Those who have found happiness on a budget (for financial hardship is surely the next thing that is coming along),  have found new activities, that are appreciative, creative and free like nature walks, taking time to get to know others, learning a new language or hobby, looking after themselves.  In other words without even realising it, re-evaluating their prioities.
     
    So what is it about this life that we used to have that is so precious?
    Stressful lives with stressful jobs often resulting in stressful homelife?  No time to live the life that the good money you are earning is paying for?  No value time for the people that you care about?  Clocking up the airmiles to show impressive pictures of you enjoying yourself! Guilt because you can't do more, fit in all the visits you should be making, talk to your immediate family, help with homework, listen to each other properly?  See your parents/grandparents/grown up children?   Even before this pandemic we saw enough people giving up stressful jobs for a big pay cut which allowed them to live a less stressful life.  Small price to pay?
     
    Or if you were struggling to make ends meet with no spare cash for yourself then seeing your friends with, what seems to you like pocket fulls of cash, out there spending and having fun fun fun whilst you are feeling guilty, frustrated becasue you can't do that.  Causing stress within the family group etc etc?  Maybe it's not quite so obvious now.
     
    Just stop for a moment>  What are the values you live to?  Could it be your beliefs, your experiences and most of all your emotions.  Has your financial status become your self-esteem, has your job title become your self-worth? Do you feel you are not good enough and must try harder (if this is the case I'll tell you, even if you became Prime Minister of the world it would not satisfy your need)?  Who are you trying to impress? (You can have such little self-esteem that you depend of the esteem of others to fill the gap and I will tell you,  it is never enough)
     
    Or does your lack of self-worth make it impossible for you to get the best out of any situation you find yourself in?  Do you feel unworthy of enjoyment or fulfilment?  Do you feel that you have no right to try to be happy as you are just not good enough.  Do you feel the need to be seen working hard - life should not come easy to you?
     
    Can you go for a whole week without alcohol?  What about a month? Nothing wrong with a drink unloess you depend upon it to help you to relax and let go of the stresses of life.
     
    STOP AND THINK - PERFECT TIMING FOR EVALUATING YOUR PRIORITIES.
     
    In other words get a new life that is more fulfilling for you.  Start by thinking about the things that you really want or need.  Then start to make small changes to your expectations and lifestyle.  For most people it will be a big ask as your system that you have set up, whilst not that helpful, is your raisen d'etre.  Scary to take that away so small steps and new values.
     
    Make yourself ready for the NEW LIFE ORDER that is just around the corner.  make the transition easy for yourself.  START NOW.
     
    Start small by doing something just because you like it and it doesnt cost a cent.  Drawing, writing, painting, walking in nature, growing things, making things, sitting for 10 mins looking at a flower or tree,.... anything.
     
    If you recognise that you are not living the life that you really would like and need some help to adjust then drop me a text with a brief outline of how you feel, I am offering coaching and therapy sessions on line at a very small fraction of the cost for a face to face sessions.  07926 044414
     
    Andrea Lowe
     
    Course Tutor, Clinical Hypnotherapy course
    Hypnotherapist/analyst,
    Coach and Colour Therapist
    07926 044414
     
     
     
     
  2. What's with Past Life Regression?

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    planets

    There are lots of stories, theories and rock solid beliefs about Past Lives and whether we've lived them or not.  The truth is we simply don't know.  To quote Johnny Nash - "There are more questions than answers and the more we find out the less we know."

    Is it our need to find meaning in our existence?  As with everything where their is a belief without 'proof' then the belief is passionate.  

    When investigated many of the past life stories were found to have  alternative explanations.

    But then most people will remember the case of the twins who had memories of their older siblings that had died in a car crash before they were born.  It seemed like indesputable evidence that they had replaced their siblings and were almost living their lives.

    That seemed to provide the final proof of past lives and it still may do.

    And in those times when children are at their most 'open' and unbiased and receptive.  But this openness often fades and these memories disappear.  Who knows what forgotten thoughts and visions have infiltrated the young mind only to become lost in the sands of time.. 

    However, science, that attempts to look for scientific evidence  without bias and preconceivment, has now proved that some memories of the parent are genetically transferred to the child.

    This finding ties in with Carl Jung and his theory of 'Collective Unconscious'.

    The collective unconscious is a concept refering to the idea that a segment of the deepest unconscious mind is genetically inherited and is not shaped by personal experience.

     According to Jung's teachings, the collective unconscious is common to all human beings and is responsible for a number of deep-seated beliefs and instincts, such as spirituality, sexual behavior, and life and death instincts..
     
    So in the words of Johnny Cash (again) there are more questions than answers and the more we find out the less we know.
     
    One thing is for sure there are mysteries in all of our pasts.
     
    Here is a link to some Stories of Passt Life hypnotic memories and how they panned out.
     
    Have you got a story in your past.?

     

  3. The Roots for Compassion

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    compassion

    Compassion, tolerance, equality, fair play.  All topics of the moment and called out for by the many.

    But I believe that as with many if not all things missing in our lives, compassion and tolerance begin at home, with your roots.

    Right now I'm not getting all political because that's just too much of a topic to deal with.  I'm talking about something much more basic..  The compassion for fellow human beings, the tolerance of other peoples opinions, no matter how they differ from yours.  Often the people with the big ideas that are so protective of them are the very ones that need to develop more of the tolerance and compassion that they preach  The ones who cry out for tolerance from others are the ones who don't give it out themselves.

    Just imagine what it would be like if all drivers were tolerant and had compassion for their fellow road users!  Much less accidents, much less aggression.  Yet what do we have nowadays more then ever, ducking and diving, crossing lanes pushing in, tail gating, speeding and the rest.  Everyone of those drivers just has no tolerance for the other drivers on the road, no compassion for anyone except their wants and their desires.

    But let's see how this could have become so prevelant . If someone was pretty much ignored as a child but 'bought' with ever more expensive presents and treats then they would learn only to care that they were satisfied and not really care about anyone else. The attidtude of getting to the front of the traffic queue becomes more understandable.  And on a bigger scale the attitude of not  having room for others opinions and ridiculing them would also be to expect everyone to think like you, for  to be different would probably be a little scary for them, as they were programmed into being safe and valued as long as they got what they wanted.

    Therefore if you're expecting compassion and tolerance then you really have to start changing the fundamentals of our lives.  Allowing for people to feel valuable for who they are. Hoping that the people who cannot understand compassion and tolerance might find a way through their blockages.  Starting small and starting in the home.

    And maybe, just maybe there would be less people like the chappie in the picture in need of self worth and a bit of compassionand tolerance.

    The most important thing that anyone can learn in life is to value themselves and as an adult and parent to crerate self worth in the people you care for.  Unfortunately it is a lucky dip and there are more booby prizes than star prizes.  And the booby prize winners create unrest and havoc or disappear into the nether regions.

    We need some fundamental changes in our society not to change what we are experiencing now but to change the future quality of life.  And tis is just in our small section of the world, our society.

    Let's change from the roots up.  NOW 

    Would appreciate any comments you might have

     

     

  4. What is self -hypnosis and what can it help with

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    What is hypnosis

    relax

    There is a lot of mystery and misconception about hypnosis.  So self-hypnosis, if you've listened to the hype, is even more difficult to understand.

    Let me put it simply:

    Imagine a vertical line.  At the top you are wide awake and bursting with energy.  At the bottom yu are in the deepest of your sleep.  Throughout the day and unknowingly we slip up and down that line, mainly around the middle area.  though if we get really excited, stimulated or even fearful we rush up towards the top of the line.  In a similar way we tire and feel ourselves slipping down the line.

    At some point approaching the bottom of that line imagine a place where you are not quite awake and not quite asleep, a place where you can very easily daydream and where sounds and other distractions are less compelling and seem further away than they are.

    You slip quite qickly through this spot when going to sleep and also upon waking.  Some people stay there longer than others and some need more time to 'come round' when the waken.  You could say that place is hypnosis.  It is in that place where you can consciously imagine at your best.  It is almost as though the active side of your mind that is alert and working hard at consciously thinking of anything and everything is quietened.  this leave the other part of your mind, the part that can imagine and daydream more room to take over a little.

    When you are able to access this part of your mind you are also able to recall things that you might think you have forgotten and you may fine that memories or lost thought just pop into your head with the slightest provocation.  Maybe a smell will take your right back to school or a tone of voice, or a random word will be free to conect through those pathways that are normally pushed to the back in the rush of conscious thoughts that are meant to be planning, working out, taking control.  After all isn'r that what we are taught from being very young.?

    What is self-hypnosis?

    Self Hypnosis helps you to devolop a method of entereing into the state of least thought so that you can access your deeper mind.  

    Why would you want to do this? 

    When combined with a few very simple techniques like PMS (Positive Mental Attitude) focusing on outcomes and desires then self-hypnosis can be very beneficial if practised regularly.

    What can it help with?

    Self-hypnosis can help with

    Setting targets, for instance work related or sports related.

    Motivation to achieve your targets

    Pain management

    Controlling to some extent unwanted thouoghts

    Self understanding

    Sleep

    and many more things including dealing with illness and discomfort.

    To get the most benefit from self hypnosis you need to develop a knowledge of some useful tools that can ensure you get it right and do not exasperate the condition you are trying to deal with.

    Yu need to ifeally know how to analise yourself a little so that you are developing that understanding that makes the big changes in lifestyles.

    Of course if you just want to use self- hypnosis in its most basic form you can do that too..

    I run self-hypnosis courses reguarly. If youa re interested please contact me and I will let you know when the next one is starting.

    Andrea Lowe, Hypnotherapist/analyst and course tutor 

  5. Novels - escaping reality?

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    novels

    Do the novels you like reflect something about you? 

    If you like romantic novels, which many do,  just see the many books that Mills and Boon churn  out, then you are probably getting a bit of a romantic injection that is maybe not wholly a part of your life.  A bit of wishful thinking  It's a bit of harmless fantasy.

    Mystery and crime novels give you a chance to escape from your life too as you try to figure out whodunit and get involved with the plot.  Those types of books probably satisdfy the deep thinkers and the people who like working things out.

    Then there are the books that are not so much stories as platforms for writers to show off their skill in constructing beautifully descriptive sentences.   I would guess that these might appeal to people striving for exactitude and perfection.

    Many of these novels and stories are also transcribed into films, sagas and soaps. With some such regular inputs into our lives it's almost like the subjects in the fiction become a part of our lives too as we become outraged, concerned or want revenge and can't miss the next episode.  Reference: the public outcry and protest when Deidre from Coronation Street was jailed.  The writers of soaps like Coronation Street East Enders etc. have to be great at studying human beahviour as they mimic or exaggerate real life and real people to enable us to relate even more to the stories. REaders/viewers often know someone who behaves in exactly the same way as the character  being portrayed

    However, it is the more extreme novels that bring me to write this blog.are the ones that take us into a fantastical world which goes beyond the classic fight of good against evil, take us beyond the rawness of authors like Annie Proulx who write about the reality of raw violence in everyday life red-neck America some of which can be disturbing yet enlightening to the relatively refined lives we are used to.  Far from escapism into a romantic dream.  It is without doubt, that her writing, coming later in her life was based on her experiences living in the forgotten  and hard living areas of Oregon.

    There are the novels that take you on the journey of a broken mind where even at the end of the book you do not know what was real and are left confused yet somehow stimulated and without an ending. 

    All of the ideas in a novel come from the experiences and imagination of the writer so having just read a fascinating sequel book (missed the first one and won't be going back for it) Dream Paris, I really questions the mind of the writer, Tony Ballantyne.  He has a bit of a cult following apparently  It is well written and keeps you guessing.  It is as imaginitive as 'Alien' with back packs changing into giant spider like creatures and infiltrating  the wearer, which is acceptable horror type stuff.  But the list of really extreme concepts that pop up regularly in the novel  make me wonder what experiences this writer has suffered to go beyond violence  to some kind of bizarre acceptence that anything goes.  The concepts of beyone torturous and to even come up with some of the ideas I think reflects a troubled mind.  It has been disturbing to read this novel and maybe that is the idea but I am not actually sure if the story is detracted from by theses needs to extreme as the story would be quite good without them.  Nevertheless it smacks of someone whose life has been unsettled, possibly violeated in some way and who feels insecure and has supressed anger   There you go then

    Andrea Lowe , Hypnotherapist and Trainer

     

  6. How much are you Influenced by Fear?

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    fearThe use of fear

    Who would want to use fear you might ask.  It would seems strange to purposefully create a fear in another human being.  Yet it is something that, at least in our culture, we are brought up with.
     
    Think of parenting, using fear as a way to protect a child from harm, yet embedding in them an uncertainty as their very foundation and all they know, their base is put under threat. 'Mind you don't fall; don't go to near the edge, don't burn your fingers, even though not meant to be, are all suggestions of the danger that is waiting to harm safety.  If you read the 'Continuum Concept' by
    Jean Liedoff, you will discover that in some cultures trust rather than caution is used to keep the children safe, still maintaining that wonderful feeling of safeness and security whilst exploring and discovering.  So phrases like 'this is where you balance really well; you know how far to go; its good how you know fire can burn' for instance are much more positive, not taking away their individuality and self preservation instincts. The examples in the continuum concept are even less prescriptive and much more trusting.
     
    So is it any wonder that as a culture and as individuals we are open to being influenced and made fearful by predicted failures insecurities and disasters?
    The worried parent who is fearful that you will not achieve the status they think you deserve, telling you what you have to do or else you will never amount to anything! But it's too late you already are 'something. and the person that you may become might not be everyone's idea of successful but if you are happy ....? or That not very nice husband or boyfriend who has worn you down with predictions of your helplessness and worse if you leave him. His fear of losing what he wants is influencing him to intimidate you.
     
    On a less personal level and prevalent right now politicians who spread fear in the hope of encouraging the masses to listen to them and get them what they want, when the fear is simply based on their opinion and exaggerated at that. 
    They are unable to trust the populace to make their own informed opinion  Difficult when the facts have been so warped from political fear.
     
    We have been brought up to move away from perceived fear and run to protect ourselves.  Yet deep down we know this is not the way.  Look at all the super-heroes that we love to watch.  They go into real danger only, face it and sort it out.  They don't sit wondering what might happen and imagining dangers..
     
    Franklin Roosevelt famously said 
    'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' 
    Quite right it sabotages and freezes, limits emotions and opportunities.
     
    Makebe this avoidence of fear is why we often like to experience fear in entertainment, watch feaful things happening to others and feel the horror or take part in scary activities that you know are safe and controlled.
    Because our natural instinct before all the indoctrination is to face fear and overcome it - enhileratingly satisfying!
     
    If you can be a little analytical when you hear someone sprouting fear at you then you can begin to be your own super-hero and move away from fear developing your freedom, potential and emotional intelligence.  Asking yourself why they feel the need to attempt to give you that fear. What is in it for them?
     
    So one last fear to think about: Be brave, be happy, make your own decisions and live your life not the one that other people want you to have. Here comes the fear - otherwise you may never really find out who you are.
     
    Andrea Lowe
    Hypnotherapist and Trainer
    Mind and Body