The use of fear
Category: Mind Matters
Who would want to use fear you might ask. It would seems strange to purposefully create a fear in another human being. Yet it is something that, at least in our culture, we are brought up with.Think of parenting, using fear as a way to protect a child from harm, yet embedding in them an uncertainty as their very foundation and all they know, their base is put under threat. 'Mind you don't fall; don't go to near the edge, don't burn your fingers, even though not meant to be, are all suggestions of the danger that is waiting to harm safety. If you read the 'Continuum Concept' byJean Liedoff, you will discover that in some cultures trust rather than caution is used to keep the children safe, still maintaining that wonderful feeling of safeness and security whilst exploring and discovering. So phrases like 'this is where you balance really well; you know how far to go; its good how you know fire can burn' for instance are much more positive, not taking away their individuality and self preservation instincts. The examples in the continuum concept are even less prescriptive and much more trusting.So is it any wonder that as a culture and as individuals we are open to being influenced and made fearful by predicted failures insecurities and disasters?The worried parent who is fearful that you will not achieve the status they think you deserve, telling you what you have to do or else you will never amount to anything! But it's too late you already are 'something. and the person that you may become might not be everyone's idea of successful but if you are happy ....? or That not very nice husband or boyfriend who has worn you down with predictions of your helplessness and worse if you leave him. His fear of losing what he wants is influencing him to intimidate you.On a less personal level and prevalent right now politicians who spread fear in the hope of encouraging the masses to listen to them and get them what they want, when the fear is simply based on their opinion and exaggerated at that.They are unable to trust the populace to make their own informed opinion Difficult when the facts have been so warped from political fear.We have been brought up to move away from perceived fear and run to protect ourselves. Yet deep down we know this is not the way. Look at all the super-heroes that we love to watch. They go into real danger only, face it and sort it out. They don't sit wondering what might happen and imagining dangers..Franklin Roosevelt famously said'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself'Quite right it sabotages and freezes, limits emotions and opportunities.Makebe this avoidence of fear is why we often like to experience fear in entertainment, watch feaful things happening to others and feel the horror or take part in scary activities that you know are safe and controlled.Because our natural instinct before all the indoctrination is to face fear and overcome it - enhileratingly satisfying!If you can be a little analytical when you hear someone sprouting fear at you then you can begin to be your own super-hero and move away from fear developing your freedom, potential and emotional intelligence. Asking yourself why they feel the need to attempt to give you that fear. What is in it for them?So one last fear to think about: Be brave, be happy, make your own decisions and live your life not the one that other people want you to have. Here comes the fear - otherwise you may never really find out who you are.Andrea LoweHypnotherapist and TrainerMind and Body
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU DID SOMETHING DIFFERENT???? ....
Friends I have a challenge for you.????????????????????????????âï¸????âï¸????????âï¸????ï¸âï¸????ï¸âï¸????ï¸
How many of you can do something different, stetch your comfort zone, be daring, take a chance .... once a day for 30 days?
It could be something as simple WEARING ODD SHOES or something you've always wanted to do like PARACHUTE JUMPING (ha ha). Please let us know what you get up to.
We will be offering some ideas and providing options for you over the period too. Sign up now for the challenge and we'll keep you posted about the things we have thought up for you to accept or not.
Just add your name below to show you're up for the challenge and we'll get going.
It's coming up to that time of the year when many people make resolution for the New Year in an attempt to improve their lives.
But ..... do you really know what you want? If it involves the word 'more' then that's hard to define. For instance if you want more money then you need to define how much more otherwiise you may never be satisified as more could never end. What would you do with more money - pile it up in a corner? Give it away? Spend spend spend.. Would that satisfy you?
Really you need to know what the objective behind the wish is. So with the above example and exta £x would allow me to not worry about payments I have to make. I would be able to buy this and this and this that I have been wishing for etc.
So in actual fact it was never extra money that you wanted but a desire to feel secure and happy. That would be the focus for your resolution not the money which is only one of the means to getting it. Let life fill in the details, you just need a clear idea about the life you want deep within. You need to know what you need to make you happy.
Often it is nothing material at all. It is something within you that is unfulfilled. You and only you have the means to make that change. Nothing materialistic can do it for you. It can cover it up or ease the pain but it will not provide the solution.
For you it's just a matter of changing your perspecitve about your life.. It feels like pain now but that is only because it's the only way you have even known it to feel.
Changing your perspective can change your life.
Hypnotherapy and especially hypnoanalysis can help with that. The best Christmas present ever is freedom. Put it on your wish list now.
Senior Hypnotherapist and Hypnoanalyst, NLP Practitioner, Hypnotherapy Course Tutor
A lot of the things we do at the Mind and Body Centre are about stretching.
It's is fairly obvious that if you stretch your muscles they become more flexible and you move more freely even when you are not stretching. There are fantastic health benefits associared with keeping your body and muscles stretchy and suppke.
Going a little deeper, Yin yoga is able to reach beyond the muscles to the joints, soft and connective tissues.This is extrememly useful for joint health and care.
Other things that can benefit from a good stretch:
Your perspective, especially in this current climate, being able to see things from more than one perspective can be very useful and enlightening. They say that travel broadens the mind ....and thus stretches your zone of refernce.
Your imagination, the more you can imagine the more possibilities you can create for yourself and your world begins to open up for you.
But most of all the one things that you can stretch, ....that is the one thing that most people shrink from ... is your comfort zone.
Stretching your comfort zone mneans putting yourself into situatiosn that you don't feel comfortable in. Doing things that would normally make you squirm. The more you stretch it the looser it becomes and the more situations start to fall within it rather than on the outside of it. In other words less things make you squirm.
One of the things that make many people squirm is taking a look at the restrictions that they impose upon themselves. The fear of addressing the cause of limitation and resiirction in ones life is almost like an invisible cage.
A course of therapy can liberate and open the cage, but often enbarking on therapy means stretching that comfort zone and beginning to open up. It also means facing emotions that are lurking beneath the surface and taking them on rather than hiding from them and pretending they're not there.
Once you decide to brave the stretch then you can fairly quickly see a liberation of your emotional restrictions and find yourself doing things that you never believed you would be able ot.
So come on 1 2 3 streeetch
Andrea Lowe Senior Hypnotherapy and Course Tutor
Professor Jeanette Edwards from the University of Manchester has revealed some worrying evidence about chldren as young as nine years old being exposed to online games lsuch as "Plastic Surgery Princess", "Little Skin Doctor" and "Pimp My Face" that could be contributing to mental health problems in young people.
The report identifies several factors that are encouraging young people in particular to focus on body image.
These include increasing levels of anxiety around appearance, the rise of social media where photos can receive positive or negative ratings and the popularity of celebrity culture, complete with airbrushed images and apparently perfect lifestyles.
Prof Edwards called for cosmetic procedures to be banned for anyone under 18 unless they involve a multi-disciplinary team of specialists, GPs and psychologists.
"Under 18s should not be able to just walk in off the street and have a cosmetic procedure.
"There are legal age limits for having tattoos or using sun beds. Invasive cosmetic procedures should be regulated in a similar way."
There are risks with cosmetic surgery and it shouldn't be taken lightly.
Young people are bombarded with the need to conform and social media acceptance is strong. Low self-esteem is not unusual for this age group as they struggle to find themselves. Also children who are bullied naturally try to change themselves to be more accepted.
Unfortunately the mental effect of any surgical changes is only skin deep and the low self-esteem still lurks beneath.
Rather than turning to surgery or injections to change their appearance they need to change their mind and develop a confidence in themselves that does not require the approval of their appearance by others.
Hypnotherapy can help young people to change their mind and not their appearance. It is an ideal time to look at clearing out any baggage that has been collecting, before the restricting baggage begins to influence their life choices and patterns. Before it too becomes burried deep within..
Andrea Lowe Senior Hypnotherapist and Trainer
, You may have read a recent blog of mine - Are they lying?
That was mostly about people who deliberately and knowingly tell lies and avoid the truth for a variety of reasons. About how to spot them and save yourself the frustration and the questioning of your own sanity..
Now I am going to be talking about a different kind of truth. The truth of reality.
This is not so easy, as everyone has their own individual reality and like a fingerprint no-one's reality is exactly the same.
You all know that frustrating feeling when you just don't seem to be able to get through to someone, something that is your reality.
How do we develop our reaility?
As with most things it usually begins to establish when we are young. Inevitably the culture that we are brought up in will influence what we see as real. Also the behaviour and beliefs of our parents, educators, family and friends. Things we hear on the news - usually the perspective of others will also form an impression for is
Yes but how does that become our reality?
We have so much information being constantly thrown at us that we develop filters. A great example is - islanders, who depend on a boat bringing supplies from the mainland, can hear it long before visitors because it is important to them for their survival.
The brain controls the amount of information in all forms that we take in. For instance usually we are not aware of the way our clothing moves against our body or even someone brushing against us slightly in passing.
If someone asked has anything touched you in the last 5 minutes you would answer no but clearly unless you were naked then your clothing would have touched you. Your reality is different from what might be seen by some as the truth. Yet if you answered yes, my clothes, you may be judged as facitious.
Yet we would be very aware if we felt that slight brushing against us on a dark lonely night. We woudn't need to be asked if something had touched us the blood curdling screams would be enough.
If you take two chairs apparently the same and ask the question are they the same or different? You might answer the same because in your understanding the are identical. Someone else night answer they are different because to them they are clearly not the same chair. Reality also depends on circumstances of course.
These may seem like simplistic examples but actually our lives are full of similar reailities based on perception and learning. Also too our reaility is often based on beliefs and unfortunately as beliefs are just that. unlike the chair or the clothes there is nothing to debate as the only evidence for those beliefs is subjective and open to other interpretations. However, that can be someones reality that they will protect and argue for against all comers.
Esprcially with beliefs that contribute to reality those filters are working hard so that you do not notices any alternative options.
As you get older and have more experiences, especially if you are prepared to stretch your comfort zone a little and experience things out of your norm then your filters get a bit stretchy too and start to loosen up giving your more options.
Therapy is often all about questioning some of your filters that are causing you problems and allowing you to develop a wider perspecitive with more options.
So next time you feel frustrated with attitude, give a little thought to what the reaility behind it might be and cut them some slack
Andrea Lowe Senior Hypnotherapist and Trainer