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Category: Mind Matters

  1. What exactly does Face the Fear mean?

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    courage

    Face the Fear   ... and do it anyway ..... face your fears  .....

    Okay good advice maybe but what the hell does it mean?

    Anyone who has been watching 'Breaking Dad' on TV will know that  Bradley Walsh has been subjected to facing many of his fears and doing them sometimes with pride, sometimes regret.

    But generally we can each take or leave those kinds of fears which may be seen by some as dare-devil stuff.

    We all need fear to survive.  Not saying that anything is impossible and with some belief you could probably walk through fire or on broken glass but in everyday life as we know it we programme our fear to stop us from taking unecessary risks .... and heres the crunch.

    Our programming during our life has decided what kind of level our fear barometer is set at and we tend to live within that level. The fear is not of the things you need to face but is an emotional fear of becoming unsafe.  In other words a zone in which you feel safe - also known as your comfort zone.  So facing the fear probably means stretching your comfort zone.  You could do this gently and slowly or like Bradley Walsh you could get thrown in the deep end.  This could have one or more  of several effects: make you fearless (unlikely); build up your confidence to do more (possible); establish the fear even deeper (possibe); make you physically or emotionally ill (possible).

    Deciding what course of action to take to conquer your fears needs careful consideration as any over stretching could cause you to further withdraw into your zone of comfort.

    Lets take a break for a moment and consider those who have been brought up doing things we would need to summon up some courage to do.  Like circus performers for instance introduced to the high wires or trapeze.  To them it is simply a part of their life but they may have other fears that we cope with easily.

    This example may offer us some insight into the base of our fears.  The emotions that influence the fears are more generalised often allowing you to go about your daily life in trepidation and anticipating a disaster.  

    We only have the past. the present and what we imagine for the future, to live up to and influence our perceptions and choices. 

    So in some ways  our fears that we live with are like self-fulfilling prophecies in that we choose the option most like what we fear to take as our reality.  This is one of the areas that we can work on to improve our safe space.  Once we feel the anxiety of fear or the result of a perceived negative experience we can take the time to look at the situation and do our best to introduce new perspective to view it through.

    One perspective could be to imagine you are someone else who you admire and who you believe would be able to handle this situation more confidently than you did.  Allow yourself to experience their perspective with your body and your mind.

    Another way would be to imagine yourself distanced from the  situation in some way.  Up in the air like a  bird looking down on it;  behind the situation and far away; from yesterday; from tomorrow; from next year.

    All these things are increasing your experiences and options for future fears and even those fears that are with you all the time known as anxiety.

    Anything that you imagine well becomes within your experience range as a memory.  That's why sports people spend great lengths of time practising in their mind achieving their sporting ambitions.

    So if you suffer from fear or anxiety then give this a go and please let me now how you get on.

    Thanks for reading.

    Andrea Lowe, Senior Hypno/psychotherapist
    at Mind and Body

     

  2. Do you what the average cost of beauty spend is per person?

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    Could you guess that the average spend on beautification per person in the UK is between £5K and £7K every year.  Compare that to the average income of around £30K.

    glamour

    So when we're talking about the average don't forget that includes all the people who spend next to nothing on beauty enhancing goods and services like children for instance.

    I am not judging, just wondering why we need to focus all our attention on covering up our natural beauty often in extreme ways.   Who are we doing it for?
    The answer to that question is often 'for myself'.

    Not to mention the length of time spent in front of that  piece of disney inspired furniture fixed to the wall.  Eagerly working  to get the right response from said prophetic artifect.

    It's almost like we need to prepare our inferior self with layers of beauty armour in order to face the day.

    Why do we do this if not to impress others?  To give ourselves confidence, to feel superior, to fit in, to hide the shame and on and on! Hiding our vulnerable selves in a coating of  glamour armour.

    So where is all this self doubt, shame, lack of confidence coming from?

    Well it's certainly not coming from out there.  Notwithstanding that outer stimuli might trigger troubling responses the actual negative self-worth certainly comes from within.  

    As a nation we are so used to expecting the doctor to deal with all our ills, whether that is emotional ills or physical ills.  Generally, although things are improving, we  eat what we want, drink what we want take what we want without a thought and expect a magical pill to repair the long term damage once it becomes apparent.  Unfortunately there is a price to pay for that attitude and it's not a financial one, it is an array of side effects that whether slowly or quickly  emerge as a reaction to the coverted and  convenient pills.

    Most people are hiding from themselves througout their lives.  Trying to build up armour to avoid getting to know who they really are.  When transfering a little of the time and finances committed to the outer self for a realtively short period of time could release much of the need for the that commitment as we begin to understand and accept  oursleves for the wonderful people we are.  Understanding our reactions to others and the vulnerability and dependance we feel towards others can remove much of our armour and set us free.

    That takes a different kind of commitment, courage and a belief in yourself.

    Andrea Lowe Hypnotherapist and Trainer

    Andrea has been working on releasing emotional blocks since 1995

     

     

  3. Boost your Will Power

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    hypno students 

    Probably the most effective way to boost your Will Power would be with a session of Hypnosis.  Well I would say that wouldn't I

    It just happens to be true.

    There are also other things you could do that are not quite as effective as a professional tailored session but here goes:-

    You can learn self hypnosis that's a less costly approach and can be used for several things as well as boosting your will power.

    You can get into routines and make lists which helps keep you focused.  The secret is to give yourself a little bit less than you can manage so you never become overwhelmed.

    One way you can help to get into the habit of dealing with things more robustly is to practise every day on little things that are easy to manage but that you consciouly decide to do.  This way you become programmed in dealing with things straight away and then when big things come along they are easier.

    These suggestions can all help a little but not really with things you want to stop like smoking or over-eating.  Have you ever noticed that if you get a thought in your mind about a tasty treat or even chips and you try to use your will power to resist, even though you do the thought remains and keeps popping up - even for a few days or a week or so that eventually you no longer resist.

    For things like that it is definitely the imagination that is what you need to address.  This is where the skill of the therapist comes in as they can design  a suitable and alternative thought.  But you can also have a go yourself.  Think about why you want to resist in other words what are you gaining and thing about something similar that will enhance the result of your resistance.  Now imagine that in your mind and keep imagining  until its the enhancer that you start desiring.

    Your imagination can by pass a lot of the suggestions above too.  If you can imagine your goal and it is tested to be suitable and attainable then if you imaginereally well and often you won't need your will power as your enthusiasm from the imagination will push you forward.

    If you decide to try some of these methods please do let me know how you get on.  I am interested truly.

  4. Harmony within

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    How many of us, this Christmas,will receive or for that matter give pampering gifts that carry magical promises of enhanced vitality, beauty and even self-esteem?

    christmas [resents

     

    Alternatively maybe some indulgent and expensive chocolates, fancy wines or spirits, impressive cheese and chutnies?  Too tempting to ignore!

     

    These gifts come from love and intent.  The intention to make  us happy or give us a well deserved treat.  We can pretty much bask on that though but hold it for just one moment.

     

    And let's be honest, we continue with the theme throughout the year, sprinkled with the odd diet and healthy eating plan along the way.  Maybe do a token sober month or so. Why?  Well because we have been bombarded with marketing telling us we should.

     

    So it seems that we are chasing pleasure and satisfaction.  We are wanting health and happiness.  We pour concentrated pleasure down our throats, plaster beauty products on our faces and bodies and stuff satisfaction into our mouths.  Mostly it is a fake pleaseure that if we are unlucky we can become a slave to.

     

    Yes if we think about it the only things that  have any influence on our health and well-being are things that we put into our bodies.  So the right nourishment will help us to feel radient, vital and satisfied.  Whats the problem then?  Well there are other things that we can ut into our bodies and that is the thoughts that we allow to influence our minds.

     

    It's those little thatought that can be the sabateur that finances all these exhorbitant  'products' we are enticed to buy.    Getting to grips with those thought is not easy I will admit but even beginning to be aware that those thoughts are making you crave for an indulgence or buy that lastest magical product can start to have an impact.  And once you do start to recognise your thoughts then you can start to switch them.  

     

    It's only ignorence that gives them the power over you.  Once you become aware they are on the run.

     

    So if you are thinking of making a New Year resolution this time bear this in mind and ths year make it count.

     

    Good luck

     

     

     

     

     

     

  5. Are YOU Stuck in the Past

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    It's coming up to a year now since the Covid19 was first around for us. Since then we've had a few ~temporary~ adjustments to make.
     
    For some people on the front line it was a horror story.
    For others it was a bit of a novelty and inconvenience.
     
    boredom
     
    The novelty seems to be wearing a bit thin and there is anxiety to get back to how it used to be
    Many people are in limbo waiting to see what is going to happen as we move through the process of recovery (hopefully)
    Some people choose to be angry and try to find someone to blame. 
    Some choose to pretend that nothing is happening and it's all an exageration  Some know it's not!
    Some are waiting for a vacine.
     
    People are all different and have different triggers, emotional needs, values etc.
     
    One thing I think that most people can agree on is that we are not, ever, going to be back where we were before this pandemic.
     
    Some people are taking life as it comes and are finding peace in the newfound freedom to re-evaluate their lives.
    I see people getting busy with lots of new experiences,more relaxation,  more outdoor activities and appreciation of nature.  Valuing some of the fundamental things in life rather than the  more hedonistic  lifestyle they used to live.
     
    For sure the people who are 'making the most' of things as they are, will certainly be changing their future and looking at priorities differently.  Once things settle  down these will be the successful people in the new order.  Those who have found happiness on a budget (for financial hardship is surely the next thing that is coming along),  have found new activities, that are appreciative, creative and free like nature walks, taking time to get to know others, learning a new language or hobby, looking after themselves.  In other words without even realising it, re-evaluating their prioities.
     
    So what is it about this life that we used to have that is so precious?
    Stressful lives with stressful jobs often resulting in stressful homelife?  No time to live the life that the good money you are earning is paying for?  No value time for the people that you care about?  Clocking up the airmiles to show impressive pictures of you enjoying yourself! Guilt because you can't do more, fit in all the visits you should be making, talk to your immediate family, help with homework, listen to each other properly?  See your parents/grandparents/grown up children?   Even before this pandemic we saw enough people giving up stressful jobs for a big pay cut which allowed them to live a less stressful life.  Small price to pay?
     
    Or if you were struggling to make ends meet with no spare cash for yourself then seeing your friends with, what seems to you like pocket fulls of cash, out there spending and having fun fun fun whilst you are feeling guilty, frustrated becasue you can't do that.  Causing stress within the family group etc etc?  Maybe it's not quite so obvious now.
     
    Just stop for a moment>  What are the values you live to?  Could it be your beliefs, your experiences and most of all your emotions.  Has your financial status become your self-esteem, has your job title become your self-worth? Do you feel you are not good enough and must try harder (if this is the case I'll tell you, even if you became Prime Minister of the world it would not satisfy your need)?  Who are you trying to impress? (You can have such little self-esteem that you depend of the esteem of others to fill the gap and I will tell you,  it is never enough)
     
    Or does your lack of self-worth make it impossible for you to get the best out of any situation you find yourself in?  Do you feel unworthy of enjoyment or fulfilment?  Do you feel that you have no right to try to be happy as you are just not good enough.  Do you feel the need to be seen working hard - life should not come easy to you?
     
    Can you go for a whole week without alcohol?  What about a month? Nothing wrong with a drink unloess you depend upon it to help you to relax and let go of the stresses of life.
     
    STOP AND THINK - PERFECT TIMING FOR EVALUATING YOUR PRIORITIES.
     
    In other words get a new life that is more fulfilling for you.  Start by thinking about the things that you really want or need.  Then start to make small changes to your expectations and lifestyle.  For most people it will be a big ask as your system that you have set up, whilst not that helpful, is your raisen d'etre.  Scary to take that away so small steps and new values.
     
    Make yourself ready for the NEW LIFE ORDER that is just around the corner.  make the transition easy for yourself.  START NOW.
     
    Start small by doing something just because you like it and it doesnt cost a cent.  Drawing, writing, painting, walking in nature, growing things, making things, sitting for 10 mins looking at a flower or tree,.... anything.
     
    If you recognise that you are not living the life that you really would like and need some help to adjust then drop me a text with a brief outline of how you feel, I am offering coaching and therapy sessions on line at a very small fraction of the cost for a face to face sessions.  07926 044414
     
    Andrea Lowe
     
    Course Tutor, Clinical Hypnotherapy course
    Hypnotherapist/analyst,
    Coach and Colour Therapist
    07926 044414
     
     
     
     
  6. What's with Past Life Regression?

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    planets

    There are lots of stories, theories and rock solid beliefs about Past Lives and whether we've lived them or not.  The truth is we simply don't know.  To quote Johnny Nash - "There are more questions than answers and the more we find out the less we know."

    Is it our need to find meaning in our existence?  As with everything where their is a belief without 'proof' then the belief is passionate.  

    When investigated many of the past life stories were found to have  alternative explanations.

    But then most people will remember the case of the twins who had memories of their older siblings that had died in a car crash before they were born.  It seemed like indesputable evidence that they had replaced their siblings and were almost living their lives.

    That seemed to provide the final proof of past lives and it still may do.

    And in those times when children are at their most 'open' and unbiased and receptive.  But this openness often fades and these memories disappear.  Who knows what forgotten thoughts and visions have infiltrated the young mind only to become lost in the sands of time.. 

    However, science, that attempts to look for scientific evidence  without bias and preconceivment, has now proved that some memories of the parent are genetically transferred to the child.

    This finding ties in with Carl Jung and his theory of 'Collective Unconscious'.

    The collective unconscious is a concept refering to the idea that a segment of the deepest unconscious mind is genetically inherited and is not shaped by personal experience.

     According to Jung's teachings, the collective unconscious is common to all human beings and is responsible for a number of deep-seated beliefs and instincts, such as spirituality, sexual behavior, and life and death instincts..
     
    So in the words of Johnny Cash (again) there are more questions than answers and the more we find out the less we know.
     
    One thing is for sure there are mysteries in all of our pasts.
     
    Here is a link to some Stories of Passt Life hypnotic memories and how they panned out.
     
    Have you got a story in your past.?