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Category: Mind Matters

  1. Book Review - Fallen Women

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    As you might imagine this book is mainly about a girls from a wealthy background whose behaviour has resulted in her being repeatedly rejected.

    It is a story unfolding and gives an interesting insight into women living in period New York.  As with anyone who ill considers others there are many innocent people dragged into the nightmare.  Her sister, who naively believes only good about her siste,r travels to New York to work with the police in solving her murder.  Gradually all those around her open up and it is revealed that the girls wasn't the innocent that everyone wanted her to be.

    So it's a murder mystery with whore houses, drug dens and ore thrown in.  Most of all it is very isightful about relationships and how we believe what we want to believe based on our own value systems.

    Recommended for anyone studying therapy or interested in the human mind and emotions

    Author is Sandra Dallas

  2. Book Review - Let's Dance

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    Well you might think the title would be enough for me to pick up that book!  You'd be wrong though.  This book by Frances Fyfield is a study in relationships between mother and daughter.  Love and hate, pity and anger all have their place.  As the story unfolds as a lot of history is revealed. 

    The mother is suffering from alzheimers and although in the early stages it has made her moody and unpredictable.

    The daughter has gone 'home' with a charitable do good heart she thinks... she gradually finds that she isactually looking for the love she never experienced as a child.  Disturbing and real it is a very good read.

    I have reviewed a book by this author previously, you maight re seems to spend a lot of time getting to know the characters and their experiences ecall, she is a lawyer and that occupation is reflected in her research and writing.  as she tends to have what seems to be very accurate knowledge of each topic she writes about.

    Recommended if you like to study people or if you are a therapist.

  3. Hypnotherapy and Anxiety

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    One of the conditions that I am most frequently asked to help with is Anxiety.  Anxiety can be very debilitating causing difficulties in the workplace and with personal relationships as well as having to suffer that nervousness and mild fear that seems to be there most of the time.

    Here are some ways that hypnotherapy can help to manage nd/or alleviate unwanted anxiety.


    If you can focus on the present moment, often called mindfulness, rather than projecting into the  future, based on past experiences your anxiety will lessen.

    Hypnotherapy can help by introducing new thought patterns that can be more beneficial than some of those old negative thought patterns.

    The mind is very powerful and taking more control over some of your thoughts can be truly amazing.  This is especially useful with specific fears and phobias when creating altrnative thoughts can have dramatic outcomes.

    Defining Your Inner Strengths

    Everyone has qualities and strengths that they are not aware of.  Sometimes a strength is hiding behind what you have always perceived as a weakness.  Small thought adjustments can present you with untold new strengths and resources.  For instance if you have always felt that you are over critical, the hidden strength you might discover is that you can be discerning and able to be relied upon to do a good job. 

    Hypnotherapy could help you to recognise some of these hidden qualities and see them for the strengths that they could be.  The way you see yourself will change as you change your thought processes.  As children we often get moulded into our beliefs about our weaknesses and sometimes have been misguided and suppressed.

    Mental Rehearsal

    Imagining yourself in a situation that is causing you problems and seeing a successful outcome and confident handling can have great effect when done with hypnosis.  The advantge of hypnosis is that everything is very compelling and images can be enhanced and made more attractive..  Luckily the mind cannot discern a difference in something that is imagined with full emotions and something that is real, so rehearsing an event beforehand wil give that same buzz as if you actually did it. Great for anxiety that is specific to a situation.

    It's Okay to not be happy all the time

    We spend our time trying to create a utopia life.  Our lives are precarious as is the world.  We would not be normal if we did not sometimes feel down, worried, in pain....  Yet we try to fight against the physical pain that we feel as well as the emotional downs.

    This fight creates a tension that effectively makes the original condition worse and can lead to health issues and physical conditions.

    Going with the pain whether that is physical or mental pain will at least prevent you suffering more than you need to and give you more space to discover a better way forward.  You will often notice a significant improvement and thoughts will pass through your mind more readiliy if they are allowed to be and not resisted.

    Whilst all this might seem like a mountain to climb for the consicous mind when in hypnosis it is a simple and quick method of making you more comfotable.

    thumbs up

    Find out more about anxiety on my ebsite

    You can also arrange a free no obligation introductory appointment on line on the book menu  tab

  4. The Most Misunderstood word

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    Hypnotherapy is probably one of the most misunderstood words in the English language.

    To some it means  profound change, to others it means hogwash, yet others would say scary and loss of control.

    All of the above could be right and could be right off the ball depending on that  perception again - how you look at it.

    Hypnosis is not a lot really, it is the skill of the person doing the therapy part of hypnotherapy that makes the difference.

    Hypnosis is just a state of relaxation, particularly of the mind - nothing new there - most people experience it when they are very tired and go a bit zombiefied or just after waking when they might not be quite their normal selves.

    The most fascinating thing about hypnotherapy (the therapy part) is unravelling the intricacies around a particular problem, behaviour or belief.

    In some ways you could compare a hypnotherapist to that little guy, Rumplestiltskin who has the skill to quickly untangle the silk and sort out the buttons or whatever the king demanded.  Hopefully, unlike Rumplestiltskin, the hypnotherapist does not use his skill to barter for new born babies and such like.

    So if you go to a hypnotherapist who is able to understand your problem and find a solution reletaviely quicklyy - hopefully you will think hypnotherapy is profound.

    Yet one who is not that engaged and reads a script from a book giving you an 'off the peg' inferior experience might be decribed as practising hogwash.

    Yet again the one who likes to talk about putting you into a trance and taking control, talking about him/herself and how good they are, generally taking the credit for your subtle changes if any might be described as scary and taking control of you.

    I know which was I am proud to be.

    If you aspire to being a good hypnotherapist Rumplstiltskin style then a foundation course in the skills behind hypnotherapy is starting later this month.  The 25th October and you can still join it.  It's one day per month for 6 months and you could go straight onto the hypnotherapy Training Course afterwards - or not.

    Cost is £360 ring me and arrange to come in for a chat about it.

    Or read more about it here

    Andrea (stiltskin) Lowe.






  5. Book review - Confessions of a Sociopath

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    Confessions of a Sociopath by M E Thomas

    If you know someone who seems to have no careWho is able to get their own way through manipulation
    Who exhibits charm - but is it sincere?
    Who is intelligent, imsincere and a convincing liar
    Shows lack of remorse or shame

    and a whole long list of other possible indicators then you probably know a sociopath or possibly if the description fits then you may also be a sociopath.

    This book is a personal account of the writers discovery that she is a sociopath.  It tells of her life from being young until the present, her relationships (mainly unsuccessful) and her career in many powerful and demanding jobs.  She tells of how her sociopathy helped her to cope with the jobs with the least of effort and commitment until her 'bluffing' was discovered when she would successfully move on to something else until that too lost her interest.

    She explains that although in certain circumstances childhood experiences can turn one into a bad sociopathic killer for instance, there are also very successful sociopath who toe the line.  She explains throughout the book and stresses that her need to behave within the rules is not because of fear but other needs which sometimes tend to contradict this person who is seeming to say she doesn't care.

    Apart from the shocker right at the beginning of the book when she tells of heartlessly killing an animal that most of us would have rescued she seems to be typical of a child that was treated with, not neglect but an uncaring attitude and I couldn't help feeling throughout the book that this is a plucky person who was determined to get through life successfully inspite of her upbringing (which she stresses was the right one for her as a sociopath).Though she does hint of the lack of emotioan from her family.

    She is unable to really trust anyone. She tells of studying people to find their achilles heal and then using it to manipulate them in one way or another.

    I can't help feeling that all the heartlessness is a way of preventing anything hurting her and causing her emotional pain.  She doesn't stick to a job, she doesn't stick to a fella, she doesn't care about friends unless she needs them.  She's self sufficient and a bit of a rebel.  The only things she does seem to care a little about is not doing anything to upset her family.

    The book certainly seems to reflect a little lonliness and saddness, confusion about herself and extreme attempts to 'feel'.

    It is said that one in twenty five of us are sociopaths but that is just a label - does it mean it can't be treated?  Maybe the label is another way of saying this is where I want to be - leave me alone I'm safe here.  Take the label away and are there possibilities?

    If you are living with or have a relationship with a sociopath there is one thing that seems to be certain.  You will never get the better of them and they will always want to control you, usually by manipulation - you know, encouraging you to believe the worst of yourself.  So if you find yourself with someone like that, don't worry, they won't feel it if you just up and leave. (But they may not like it so look out for the charm onslaught of manipulation to establish the upperhand once again)

    If you have or do read this book we would really like to read your thought on it.


  6. Corniest Cracker Jokes

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    For me, they're so bad that they make you laugh.  Laughing brings a little light and cheer into your life so go ahead read them and enjoy them add some and comment. Don't worry, it's magic to be weird.  Here we go:-

    Answers below but not necessarily in order!!!

    I bought my husband a wooden leg for Christmas - it wasn't his main present just a Stocking Filler haha

    Why does Father Christmas not come down the chimney any more?

    What is a Pelicans favourite TV show? 

    Where do the relay teams go for their training?

    What did Adam say to eve the day before Christmas?

    Why did Santa's helper go to the doctor?

    Santa: What's the terrible noise outside?


    The Bill haha

    Because he has Claustrophobia haha

    Andover haha

    Mrs Claus: It's rain dear (say it out loud) haha

    Because he had low elf-esteem haha

    It's Christmas Eve haha