The use of fear
Who would want to use fear you might ask. It would seems strange to purposefully create a fear in another human being. Yet it is something that, at least in our culture, we are brought up with.
Think of parenting, using fear as a way to protect a child from harm, yet embedding in them an uncertainty as their very foundation and all they know, their base is put under threat. 'Mind you don't fall; don't go to near the edge, don't burn your fingers, even though not meant to be, are all suggestions of the danger that is waiting to harm safety. If you read the 'Continuum Concept' by
Jean Liedoff, you will discover that in some cultures trust rather than caution is used to keep the children safe, still maintaining that wonderful feeling of safeness and security whilst exploring and discovering. So phrases like 'this is where you balance really well; you know how far to go; its good how you know fire can burn' for instance are much more positive, not taking away their individuality and self preservation instincts. The examples in the continuum concept are even less prescriptive and much more trusting.
So is it any wonder that as a culture and as individuals we are open to being influenced and made fearful by predicted failures insecurities and disasters?
The worried parent who is fearful that you will not achieve the status they think you deserve, telling you what you have to do or else you will never amount to anything! But it's too late you already are 'something. and the person that you may become might not be everyone's idea of successful but if you are happy ....? or That not very nice husband or boyfriend who has worn you down with predictions of your helplessness and worse if you leave him. His fear of losing what he wants is influencing him to intimidate you.
On a less personal level and prevalent right now politicians who spread fear in the hope of encouraging the masses to listen to them and get them what they want, when the fear is simply based on their opinion and exaggerated at that.
They are unable to trust the populace to make their own informed opinion Difficult when the facts have been so warped from political fear.
We have been brought up to move away from perceived fear and run to protect ourselves. Yet deep down we know this is not the way. Look at all the super-heroes that we love to watch. They go into real danger only, face it and sort it out. They don't sit wondering what might happen and imagining dangers..
Franklin Roosevelt famously said
'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself'
Quite right it sabotages and freezes, limits emotions and opportunities.
Makebe this avoidence of fear is why we often like to experience fear in entertainment, watch feaful things happening to others and feel the horror or take part in scary activities that you know are safe and controlled.
Because our natural instinct before all the indoctrination is to face fear and overcome it - enhileratingly satisfying!
If you can be a little analytical when you hear someone sprouting fear at you then you can begin to be your own super-hero and move away from fear developing your freedom, potential and emotional intelligence. Asking yourself why they feel the need to attempt to give you that fear. What is in it for them?
So one last fear to think about: Be brave, be happy, make your own decisions and live your life not the one that other people want you to have. Here comes the fear - otherwise you may never really find out who you are.
Hypnotherapist and Trainer
Mind and Body